While obesity affects both woman and men, it’s women who more often, in my experience, will eventually seek professional, guided assistance of some kind to lose weight, even after they’ve tried one quick-fix gimmick after another. Men, on the other hand, again in my experience and going by what they tell me when we meet for the first time, will usually try everything but seek professional help or do a program to lose weight. They try doing things on their own, such as abstaining from a food group or two, or eating only 1 meal a day. Or, they’ll go to a gym, get a personal trainer and work out vigorously every day. Let’s face it: Men don’t usually like to seek help. It’s a male ego thing. They’re the species who would rather drive around lost for an hour before finally pulling in somewhere to ask for directions, right ladies?
So, I want to talk to the men in the various stages of aging.
Are you an obese young man in his 20’s who would like to meet the right girl and settle down? When you go to a party or a bar or dance club or any social event or venue, are you attracted to the obese young ladies or the slim ones?
Turning the tables for a minute: Do you think a slim, fit, young woman will be drawn to you or to the slim and fit guy?
You’re very overweight and you have developed man-breasts (“gynecomastia”). Are you ashamed or embarrassed to take your shirt off at the beach or at a pool? Do you even venture to go to the beach? Does having man-breasts inhibit you when it comes to dating?
Are you a very overweight or obese young engaged or newly married man in his 30’s who is looking forward to children? Do you think infertility is only a ‘female problem?’ Think again.
The fact is: Obesity is linked directly to low sperm counts and reduced sperm motility, both of which impairs fertility. An overweight or obese male partner has an increased infertility even with a female of normal weight.
Does it bother you, do you care, that your obesity can play a major role in the emotional stress and heartache that your wife may experience when trying to become pregnant?
Are you a fat man in his 40’s or 50’s, whose wife is as slim as the day you married? Do you think she’s as physically turned on by you today as she was back then?
If you are, and if you do… you’re kidding yourself.
Again, let’s turn the tables for a minute. If you were as slim, fit and as physically attractive as you were on your wedding day, it would be because you took pride in the way you looked and practiced a lifestyle to keep you in good shape and health; and you would have thought it very important all the years of your marriage to maintain being attractive to your spouse. You would have been thinking of her thoughts and desires. So, if your wife was no longer the same slim and sexy woman you married, if she didn’t dress the way she used to that attracted you initially and that you liked so much, if she couldn’t be as physically active as she used to, and if she didn’t have the same passion in intimacy as she used to because her size inhibited her, would you like it? Be honest.
Then, ask yourself: Why shouldn’t your wife, who married a slim man, feel the same about you?
Perhaps your excess fat has already lead to nightly snoring, forcing you to sleep separate from your wife. Perhaps your snoring has evolved into Obstructive Sleep Apnea. Do you think that the CPAP mask that you must wear to help you breathe during the night is sexy and attractive?
It’s not only the outward physical attraction that we should work to maintain for the duration of our marriages, but we should want to take care of ourselves physically so we can maintain good health for the duration of our marriages. With obesity, comes medical issues. With medical issues, comes limitations. Do you want to spend time with your wife doing things… like traveling, dancing, going to concerts, walking in museums, etc? Or, do you want her to spend time taking care of you, reminding you which medications to take, and transporting you to and from doctors’ appointments? Is that what you think she bargained for on her wedding day? Did you?
Are you a very overweight or obese dad or grandfather in his 60’s or 70’s? Does your size present physical limitations in the enjoyment of your young children or grandchildren?
Are you so heavy that you cannot get on the floor to play with your kids? Can you bend down easily to tie their sneakers? Can you go down a sliding pond with them? Would you be able to you run after them if they got away from you at the park? Do you have the stamina and agility to travel and take them to DisneyWorld, or spend a day with them at the beach?
Do you ever think about how your obesity affects your older children? Do you care that it causes them concern for your health and your longevity? Don’t you think they worry about having to take care of you, or the many milestones in their lives you’d miss if your obesity lead to your premature mortality? Or, perhaps they worry about their mother, your wife, being left a widow way before her time.
I’ll wrap up saying to ALL men who are obese, regardless of stage of life: Excessive fat takes a major toll.
1 – Obesity wreaks havoc on male hormones and sexuality in 3 prevalent ways.
- First, obesity lowers testosterone levels and elevates estradiol (estrogen) levels. The fatter the male, the higher the estrogen levels; and the higher estrogen levels is what leads to the growth of male breasts, a condition known as “gynecomastia.”
- Second, obese men, regardless of age and even if lucky enough to still have normal testosterone levels, have an increased risk of ED (erectile dysfunction).
- Third, obesity is linked directly to low sperm counts and reduced sperm motility, both of which impairs fertility.
2 – Obesity increases a man’s risk of developing prostate (and colon) cancer, and the fatter the man, the more aggressive the cancer.
3 – Obesity increases a man’s risk for kidney stones, gout, diabetes and heart disease.
If you are a very overweight or obese man who, when you look down, cannot see your feet (or your privates), what are you weighting for?
Weight No More Diet Center, Inc. has been providing private weight loss and diet/lifestyle counseling for over 25 years. We must be doing something right!